Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
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