I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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