Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I think your dad took our porno
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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