brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
