My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
