You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize