i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
