Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
