Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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