i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Randomize
