I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
