nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I love black thongs
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Randomize
