Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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