Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Are my feet made of real feet?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
