No subtext here. People are naked.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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