Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I need water and some morals
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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