I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
