no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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