there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
