its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
