she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
