Cold hands, warm shart.
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
