I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
