So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point đź’ś
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
