is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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