guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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