Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
