i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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