People in love make me want to vomit
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
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