thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
