What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
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