This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
She swung at the pinata with crutches
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize