so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
