I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
