You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
