I'm so fucking centered right now
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
