rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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