So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize