THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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