is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
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