he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Randomize
