One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize
