i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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