She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
