I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
