He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
