If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Randomize
