I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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