So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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