I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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