If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize
