Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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