I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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