i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
