I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
